Iron Strong Part 93: Epilogue, Live Like Bob...
Epilogue, Live Like Bob...
In 2012 I journaled daily through my divorce, leaving the Mormon Religion, being a Single Mom, becoming a Marathoner and eventually an Ironman Athlete. This story will be delivered in parts and not really edited down from the original writings in my journal (including some typos and grammar misalignment). I do this to uphold the integrity of the Woman I was when I wrote these, long before I knew this would end up as a full book and even though my writing has evolved in the decade since I wrote these pieces. They read in present day time from a decade ago. These are stories of hope, miracles and never giving up on your dreams. It is a heroine’s journey of shame, secrets and ultimate seclusion to the Finish Line of Ironman Arizona....and then beyond. An Outward Journey to an Inward Destination of Freedom and Liberation, Iron Strong.
Epilogue, Live Like Bob...
I wanted to share just snippets of wisdom and love that were shared between Bob and I, things I learned from him or little bits I wrote.
I think what strikes me today is that we met on a random Tuesday. Zero clue that morning when I woke up that I’d meet one of the most important people, teachers and great Loves in my life. I always think back to that when I feel down or lacking in hope.
“Who could I meet today if I simply go outside and live this dream life”. It’s a pretty incredible way to view this life and is motivation to keep on keeping on, even if life feels heavy.
You literally never know if today is the day you will meet someone you’ve always been meant to meet that will change your entire life forever.
Steph,
Thinking about you and know you are doing well. The plan is to deal with discomfort as if that is normal - at least during competition. Your commitment to the “game” will result in success for you.
For now focus in on a big finish staying strong and dealing with the challenges that present themselves. Feed and hydrate to maintain strength. Wish I was there to help you.
Love Bob
We met after every great adventure. He was the one who endlessly listened to my stories and then we plotted our next race or training session.
I miss you more than words can say.
I know you know I loved you but grief today feels a lot like “I didn’t do enough” and “I wish I had done that or said this or that”.
Natural part of grief I’m honoring. But this part of the process is hard.
Coulda.
Woulda.
Shoulda.
3 words that can be haunting and also propel us to new levels of loving and vulnerability with relationships in our lives. Not taking a day or moment for granted.
Say the things. Do the things. ALL the things.
Life is precious and when it’s over, it only matters how deep we’ve loved and felt loved. Savor living.
Live like Bob.
Bob, you were the best friend I ever had in this lifetime and my most treasured mentor. I will miss you more than I can even begin to feel in my heart right now. But it was a privilege to journey with you the past decade.
Bob’s wisdom for the day…
You’ve done this distance many times before. You KNOW how to do this. Remember you’ve already done it.
And my interpretation for now is “You know how to do this”.
There’s simply no going back now even though the path forward is slightly terrifying because if we are really real with ourselves, we are terrified of our full potential because of the person you become along the journey.
It’s equally exhilarating but the depths are oceanic and vast.
But I said goodbye to the shore a long long time ago so I guess here we go.
Slow down to Speed up
One piece of the greatest wisdom my mentor and greatest friend, Bob, taught me.
It was in regards to training for an Ironman but I believe he knew it extended into all areas of life including pleasure and healing.
Time is truly the most beautiful gift we have. This day. This breath. If you woke up this morning you have everything.
Slow down and be with this version of you today.
Slow down and love on your body, your breath, your heart.
Slow down and savor the love of your family and cherished friends. We are all in such a damn hurry to “get somewhere” we forget to love on the ones in front of our face and who love us the most.
The secret my loves…is in slowing it all down
I finally understand what he meant all those years ago when we met and he said he’d teach me to swim and do a triathlon for no pay. He wanted to see me be a “happy and fit mom for my boys”. And I get it now so deeply and am grateful that this simple intention of his has shaped my kids and my life.
He told me his famous advice.
We train to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Period.
He said
Are you ok being uncomfortable?
I said
Hell yes!
He said
There you go. You're ready.
It really is that simple huh? This is why I love him so dearly. He always says the right words to me.
He is 52 years older than me.
If I could encourage all you loves to do ONE thing, it is make friends with people not your age who you would least expect.
I’ve not just learned about triathlon from him, but about life. About unconditional love. About having someone who has your back through it all. Someone who say HELL YES when you share your crazy dreams. And someone who has taught me what I deserve, should expect and frankly set a high standard for any men who walk into my life that I may date. He is my Angel.
He also is a fucking badass. He trains more consistently and harder than ANYone I know and he is 89 years old. I literally have no excuses and I can’t listen to anyone else’s excuses on why they can’t live a healthy life, find energy/time to exercise, why they can’t do a race, ect ect ect.
My life standards have changed. My fitness goals have changed. I want to be the female Bob when I am 89 and I will be.
Anyways, I’m beyond grateful for this beautiful human who I get to train for Ironman 2-3x / week side by side with and get to call my best friend.
I get asked often why I travel, train, do big endurance events, ect so much…
I was speaking to Bob Scott, my best friend in the world, mentor and all around inspiration for this entire book and journey, about this one day after a pool session.
At 85 years old, he gave me the best wisdom I have ever heard…he said,
“I have been asked that question a million times.” He simply looked over at me with a smile and twinkle in his baby blue eyes and said… “Steph, If I have to explain why I do this to someone, they already won’t understand so what is the point in trying to explain?”
There you have it.
Plain and simple.
You DON’T have to explain yourself.
Message From Bob on 7/10/2017
Hey Steph,
Thinking about you and know you are doing well. The plan is to deal with discomfort as if that is normal - at least during competition. Your commitment to the “game” will result in success for you.
For now focus in on a big finish staying strong and dealing with the challenges that present themselves. Feed and hydrate to maintain strength. Wish I was there to help you.
Love Bob
Message from Bob:
“My coaching time with you is not done for payment. My way of welcoming you to the sport with no strings attached. I'm impressed with you as a fine person and an athlete. I'm happy to help you and see you progress so quickly. I can visualize you chopping big minutes off your marathon time and enjoying (Racine?) a half IM after you experience an open water training session and see how you deal with waves, cool water and others swimming around you. Besides, I want to see your boys happy that you are indeed a very Fit Mom.”
And finally maybe my favorite message and delivery ever in my life…
“Mission Accomplished - you now have the donut box at your house door.
Enjoy! Remember, more than four donuts per day, except on Fridays, Saturdays and race days when we have no limits on our poor dietary habits.”
I miss you Bob. You changed my life in my 30s. You were epic love. This book is dedicated to you. Because every word in here is here because of your love.
I think about you and will continue to think about you every day of my life. You are a bright star in my sky. I also know, just like you waited for me at the Racine 70.3 finish line after you had completed the race, you will be there at my own final finish line. Welcoming me into your arms and bringing me to my loved ones. It will be you that carries across the threshold to our next great start line. Until then, I will keep on living every day as though it is magic, because truly each day we have is magic. I will see you soon.
Live Like Bob
October 12, 1930 - March 30, 2023
